No More Hurt, Only More Love

I hate being alone.

I hate it.

Now, maybe this seems petty. I don't care. Nobody's making you read my blog, so there. :P

...that rhymes... Haha...

I'm not saying this for sympathy sake or anything. I just don't like being on my own. As much as I value independence, I need people to be independent with, if that makes sense.

I like having someone to cuddle with, to feel close to. Someone to share with, to talk to every day. Someone to hold hands with, to sit on the phone with for hours without having to say a single word.

I've had that once in my life. And it was the best feeling in the world - truly. Being able to hold that person close and not have a care in the world was...it's the only time I've ever felt content in my life.

Losing that was painful.

Now, don't put words in my mouth - I don't blame anyone for that pain. It was no one's fault and I have felt that way since it happened.

But moving on is so difficult.

Every day I see this girl tagged in more pictures, or updating her status or with someone else. And it hurts.

We've been working on our friendship and it's gotten SO good! I mean, she's someone I consider my sister. I love her to death and know she's not going to get out of my life any time soon.

But, ultimately, it's just hard knowing she's over me already, and that I can't have the one thing I want.

I'm just...I hate being alone and don't know what to do about it.

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa